Wretched Reality
by Kiwisilence
Summary: Beast Boy wakes to a world where Control Freak has become leader of the Titans and he never joined the Doom Patrol. Beast Boy/Killer Moth slash. Renamed.
1. Beginning Transmission

Chapter 1: Beginning Transmission

* * *

Garfield Logan could have been a normal man.

He was quick-witted. He got along with others. There was nothing about him that suggested his current occupation with his boyfriend. He should have been normal.

Except for his green skin. It marked him as a villain like the infamous Wicked Witch of the West before him. Despite his intelligence and kindness, no smile could ease people away from how green he was.

It was hard for him to go outside; people were just pathetic. They were suspicious and paltry here in Jump. They treated him like a villain before he even did anything. To them, he was a monster, without uttering even a word.

Except for his boyfriend, he held nothing but hate for those people. Perhaps long ago, he might have been disturbed at what he and his boyfriend did now. Using his parents' background as a geneticist to aid his boyfriend in crime was not the dream of a Garfield as a child.

Regardless, Drury Walker, better known as Killer Moth, accepted him in all of his greenness. He had learned over the years to love his new life. They struggled to make ends meet and settle Drury's internal demons, but they lived a full life nonetheless.

* * *

"Babe, I'm sorry about what happened tonight."

Garfield had just finished making eggplant parmesan for his boyfriend despite that he knew Drury was no match for the Titans. The meal was not celebratory; it was comfort for a broken man.

They could survive on selling their biogenetics experiments or stealing, but neither could survive a battle with the obnoxious Titans. Their lives were marked with struggles and losses, united by years of attraction.

"It's fine." Drury whispered, sitting down at the supper table. He had just taken off his moth costume, but Garfield could see several bruises even in the dim light. It could be taken care of later; the villain wasn't bleeding. Minor scrapes were frequent in the business of crime.

"I caught it on the news. They've been quick about reporting it lately." Garfield mused, cutting a slice of the parmesan for each of them. Finally, he sat down, to eat and coax some happiness and food into Drury.

Drury took several gulps of the food, quickly relishing the flavor. He was tired and beaten up enough to enjoy anything. Garfield could have served the lint from the underside of the couch and he would have liked it. At least Garfield knew how to cook a small comfort for Drury.

"Who gave you those bruises?" He tried again looking over his boyfriend's body, observing them as if they were a map of connecting purple and blue shades.

"Cyborg...and Starfire. Robin uses more of his toys than actual fighting."

Garfield still didn't know why Drury loved hand-to-hand combat. It must have seemed honorable to Killer Moth. Garfield would never have fought that way; his puny limbs would be quickly bludgeoned. Despite having some enhanced senses from his powers, he was nowhere near the level that Drury had taken his body with biogenetics. Killer Moth couldn't turn into an animal, but he held the strength of an entire herd.

"I'm sorry for not being there with you."

"I didn't need you, Gar. You stole us this bountiful supper and our rent money for the month. I'm just a man with a bruised ego."

Before he had entered into a relationship with Drury, Garfield had been no stranger to stealing. After his parents Mark and Marie had died, he had taken to petty theft until winding his way into Jump. It was strange looking back on his past, but the green man was glad he hadn't been accepted into the Doom Patrol.

It might even have led him into joining the Titans.

"I'll help you fight them. Next time. We're set for a while. Mammoth is also offering us a deal for some basic genetic enhancements."

Silence passed between the two as they continued to eat. Drury was just too exhausted and Garfield was too worried about him.

"We could re-watch your segment with the Titans on the news if you want."

"Fine. I just don't want to see their leader Control Freak gloat over beating me."

Garfield turned on the TV, moving his chair to sit closer to his boyfriend. They both knew how obnoxious the redhead would be.

The reporter spoke, "Earlier this evening, the villain Killer Moth was fought and unsuccessfully apprehended by the Titans. His current whereabouts are unknown."

The camera turned towards the Titans before focusing on Control Freak's greasy face. "As the leader of the Titans, I take responsibility in our failure tonight. Luckily, Killer Moth is a D-list villain that even kindergarten kids needn't be afraid of."

Cyborg's laughing could be heard in the background.

"But how did he escape?" The reporter tried feigning a serious professionalism.

"Most of his moth army was destroyed, but a few enough were left alive that flew him to safety." Control Freak spoke again, his voice sounding too much like a nerd among real heroes to ever be a true leader. His fellow Titans and all of Jump seemed to accept him despite just how wrong he seemed in his position.

"Do you know where he could have flown too?"

"No, but like I said, he's a loser villain. Next time, we might just snap his wings." The redhead grinned on the TV, infuriating Drury as he watched.

"I'm not even good enough for them to look for us." The older man sighed.

"That's not true." Garfield reassured. "We just need to plan better for next time. I will fight with you. My shapeshifting powers have only gotten stronger with your work."

Before meeting the villain, Garfield's powers had been messy at best. There was no one to train him: he hadn't met a similar villain nor had he been accepted by the Doom Patrol as a kid. Only with Drury's work had his powers been increased and he was given a focus to maintain animal forms for longer periods of time.

"Maybe. We do need to watch out for Control Freak. I can evade and get some hits on Cyborg...and even dodge what Raven and Starfire can throw at me...but Control Freak doesn't make sense to me."

"I've never fought him. It's not like he has the body to do flips like Robin." Garfield just smirked.

"I don't really know what his powers are. In a physical fight, I could easily take him. But for some reason, when I try to launch an attack, something always goes wrong. My wings will malfunction or one of the other Titans will get a hit on me that I didn't see coming."

"That's why we need to plan. Ever since Control Freak came here and formed the Titans, no one has beaten them. Not even the best of us has."

They didn't want to mention the spectacular failure of Slade trying to fight the Titans. It was too shameful to discuss.

"Babe, I'm just glad you're here safe tonight." Drury's voice slightly shook as he pressed his lips against Garfield's.

Neither was ever meant to be a hero. Garfield, in his greenness, and Drury, for his inhuman obsession with the moths.

As such, his first transformation before the man had been a moth. Garfield knew Drury, down to the core of his cocoon. He would do anything to help his boyfriend seek revenge on the Titans.

* * *

Garfield sat in the form of a fly, perched on a wall above the kitchen in the Titans' Tower. A fly was an easier transformation; larger ones like dinosaurs required greater concentration.

The green man didn't care that he wasn't earning keep today. He had already stolen and burglarized enough for him and Drury to live for several months. Garfield had the time now to stalk the heroes. He expected some shocking revelation to be found, but the Titans were fairly normal people.

Raven, the witch, was a typical goth loner. Although she frequently read ancient tomes on magic, Garfield preferred to imagine her writing away in a diary about the angst of her life.

Cyborg had been too boring to watch. He might have been the comic relief of the group, but hours of watching him repair cars and other tech drained the green man of his patience.

Starfire was currently cooking below him, but even as a fly, Garfield still found the smell of whatever she was making fowl. It took an amazing level of control not to revert back into a human and throw up over that stench.

Control Freak waddled into the room, eyeing Starfire. Perhaps they were dating. It wouldn't have made any sense why except that Control Freak was the leader of the group. It's not like he even had a personality.

"Starfire! Stop this cooking before my girlfriend gets here."

Garfield had been wrong. Control Freak had a girlfriend who wasn't the alien, but that still shocked the green man. He wondered if some deluded fangirl had been roped into dating him. Control Freak was just the type to use the perks of fame and exploit some poor girl.

"I'm sorry. I'll clean up before Kitten comes."

Garfield wondered if Kitten was a petname, but considering who he was watching, it was probably Control Freak's girlfriend's actual name. Only someone as gross as the redhead would date some Hello Kitty-obsessed fangirl.

The green man could almost picture the image of that girl, too blinded by kittens and the fame of the Titans to notice that Control Freak was not cute like the images she loved. Control Freak was the hairball choked out by a cat; he was not cute. His personality was cocky, almost villain-like.

"Starfire." Control Freak whined. "Get out now!"

Starfire washed her hands, walking away almost mechanically. Her usual cute, goofy alien personality had dissolved into a robot-like subservience to Control Freak's command. The redhead didn't even say goodbye to his teammate. The entire interaction was weird, but Garfield didn't know what to make of it.

Eventually, Kitten, the blonde girlfriend of the Titans' leader arrived, but Garfield was too tired to watch further. He would come back tomorrow, or try finding out who Kitten was, but for tonight, he just wanted to enjoy the warm embrace of his boyfriend.

Drury would be home waiting for him. In the night, after a day of genetics and crime, they were able to put aside the villainy and simply be a couple together. Before they went to bed, they would just simply talk and cuddle.

It was a strong, almost sappy love between the two. Despite that, it had a poetry and maturity that was nothing like the Titans he had observed. Control Freak was a manipulative, seedy hero who could never understand that type of love.

Not even the flashes of cameras or the adoration of girls like Kitten could ever fulfill the redhead. Garfield might be a lowly criminal with his boyfriend, but his life was fulfilled. He had found love in all its beauty with the man behind Killer Moth.

* * *

AN: While writing the last chapters of "We Need a War" (my Beast Boy/Red-X fanfic), I became inspired to write this. Garfield still doesn't call himself Beast Boy (yet).


	2. It Simply Hurt

Chapter 2: It Simply Hurt

* * *

Garfield twisted in his sleep, bumping against the sleeping form of his lover Drury. The green man's dreams were filled with the Titans. Unlike previous dreams, there was a more clear, almost real quality to them. They were like memories and his mind felt drunk on them.

Despite the hold they had over his mind, Garfield suddenly gulped, waking himself from those depths of sleep.

He stretched, making sure not to startle Drury in the process. The Titans were beginning to affect him even in sleep. He really shouldn't have started spying on them if this was the result. He could have left the bedroom and watched TV in the living room but he decided against it. The Titans would find themselves onto the news as he started watching. They would find him.

Garfield felt annoyance towards the Titans, but it was a strange feeling, more like he was told to feel that way. He couldn't quite place how odd that felt; he hated the Titans. They were whiny brats with playground theatrics; he was the suave, cool lover of Killer Moth. They were beneath him. Despite that, he felt a sense of care for them. He hated and loved them; regardless of that weird mix of feelings, he could admit that he was at least obsessed with them.

Despite his confusion, that didn't stop the images of his dreams from going away. He had dreamt that he was apart of their team: he had fought with them in an equally obnoxious purple outfit. He had eaten Starfire's cooking, teased the dour Raven, trained with Robin, and played video games with Cyborg. In his dreams, they were his friends. In reality, he had only his boyfriend Drury. He didn't know which to accept.

"Gar..." Drury stirred, his arms unconsciously reaching out for his lover.

The green man just needed to forget his dreams of fighting with the team and the friendships they had formed. It wouldn't do well to start caring about his boyfriend's enemies. Hate was the only emotion he needed to feel.

Garfield kept thinking that, repeating it to himself like a mantra. He rolled back into Drury's arms, letting himself be comforted by their warmth. He just didn't want to think. This had turned from simply helping his boyfriend into an obsession.

He wanted to hate the Titans, but he was starting to hate himself more for caring.

* * *

Kitten was impossible to find. It was as if she never existed until the need for her to go on dates with Control Freak. Garfield couldn't find where she lived...nor could he even figure out where she went to school.

He had also tried following her, but she had somehow disappeared from his view every time. A flock of birds would suddenly engulf him or random cars would obscure where she walked to.

Slowly, the coincidences of never being able to find her became too suspicious to ignore. Kitten was being hidden, but by who, Garfield couldn't guess. He kept watching the Titans, but none of them discussed Kitten and him following her.

If anything, days of spying on them only confirmed that they didn't even know who he was. Garfield hated that; it went beyond the simple annoyance he had felt for them. He would make the brats remember who he was by the end of this.

It was even stranger that they were the same age as Garfield. The green man might look younger, but the Titans surely acted more immature. They had no self-control or manners; the green man had seen their eating habits...

He might still dream at night of joining them, but those were quickly forgotten by the disgust he felt towards watching them. They could barely cook let alone clean up after themselves. Their precious Tower was less a fortress for heroes and more so the waste dump of Jump.

They sickened him. Garfield just needed to remind himself that.

* * *

Garfield quickly fixed himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, picking grapes from the fridge to eat with it. He sat down across from a still-tired Drury at dining room table. The older villain had exercised earlier, maniacally training for another round with the Titans. It saddened him to see his boyfriend so exhausted, but he would soon find better intel on the Titans.

The green man just needed to believe he would and forget that a week had been wasted with no new information found. Maybe, he should just tell Drury.

"I've been watching the Titans."

"I know." Drury's was tired, but his face held a charming smirk. He knew too much.

"I haven't found anything out. They're boring..." Garfield faked a whine.

"I doubt you'd watch someone boring for a whole week."

Garfield pursed his lips. "Okay, maybe they're not...too...boring. I've tried to tag Control Freak's girlfriend but she keeps disappearing before I can follow her home. There's also no information about where she goes to school."

"So in other words, this girlfriend doesn't exist."

"I think someone might know I'm following her, but it isn't the Titans...or at least, I don't think so."

Drury never wanted to compliment the Titans and say they did anything well, but it was needed. He couldn't deny the truth. "They probably know."

"They don't even know my name." Garfield countered. "It's not like they have anything stealthy either. I've never seen Robin do any decent detective work...sorry Batman." He rolled his eyes when mentioning the Batman's protegé.

"Babe, just think. You've watched them for a week. Never mind that you've avoided me to do it..." Drury threw Garfield a wicked, teasing smile. "But who among the Titans would be smart enough to know you're following them."

"None. They're idiots, nothing like you and I. They make Mammoth look like Socrates."

"That might be true, but think. Who is the smartest of them?"

Garfield tried focussing, recalling both his memories of stalking them and his dreams. His heart knew the answer, even before his mind could calculate a response. "Raven or Robin. Definitely Raven."

"Then follow her...and make sure to come back once in a while." Drury rose, moving until he was behind Garfield. He gently placed his hands on the green man's shoulders, lowering his head down until he trailed a kiss up his neck.

"Fine...I'll be back tonight." He succumbed to the kiss, letting himself enjoy his boyfriend for the first time in days.

* * *

Eating and making out with Drury had given Garfield strength to go back and stalk the Titans. Someone on the team knew he was following them and had taken measure to protect Kitten, the normal human.

Someone who was probably Raven. The other Titans just didn't compare to her intelligence, loath as Garfield was to admit it.

He had transformed into a gull, taking joy in the thrill of his cool flight towards the Tower. Then, he shifted into the form of a fly as he flew up a vent towards the witch's room. Despite Drury's insistence that the Titans knew, it still seemed just...wrong. The Titans wouldn't have allowed him to stalk them if they had known. If they had, that opened a bowl of questions that Garfield wasn't in the mood for pondering.

As he flew into Raven's room, some force pulled as his body, shifting him back into a human. The process wasn't agonizing, but the feeling of a forced transformation still stunned his body.

"Beast Boy." Raven whispered, her form suddenly seen by Garfield by the window of her room. "We have much to talk about."

Garfield was too shocked to speak. His mind was racing, utterly confused by what had happened. Raven wasn't supposed to be this smart. Despite the shock, Raven had called him something. The name felt important, recalling something that had dwelt in his dreams for the past week.

He was Beast Boy. Or at least, his dreams said he was.

"What did you call me?" He tried staying calm, but couldn't stop himself from practically spitting his words.

"Your name. Something is wrong here."

"Listen, witch. The only something wrong is you finding out I've been watching you." Part of Garfield was unready for whatever the witch had to say. He preferred to cling to his mission and his current life with Drury. He couldn't shatter it.

"You can get up you know. My magic might have made you human, but it didn't stop your ability to move." Raven said dryly. The green man expected her to do an eye roll, but she remained impassive.

Garfield pushed himself up, standing to glare at the witch. His mind tried focusing and forcing his body to shift, but he could feel the hold of Raven's magic blocking him. He was stuck. The only option was to listen to the witch and hopefully plot an escape.

"You haven't told your team about me, have you?" Garfield tried smirking, giving him some sense of control by acting this way.

"No...I haven't told _our_ team about you."

The words wounded him, pulling on the last tendrils of strength Garfield had to keep calm. The dreams of him being apart of the team had never seemed more real...and more destructive.

"I don't want it to be true." Garfield caught a flash in Raven's eyes at his words.

"Then you know...or at least vaguely know. That's good." She wasn't patronizing him; her tone was musing as if she was speaking to a friend.

As if Garfield was truly Beast Boy, her friend and teammate in his dreams.

"How do you know about my dreams?" The green man wanted to shout, but thought better of it if the other Titans overheard.

"This is not the world we're supposed to live in, Beast Boy." She spoke too confidently for his liking.

"My name is Garfield." He whispered out, trying to once again defy accepting the truth.

"Your name is Beast Boy. You recognized the name...from your dreams." She paused, assuming correctly.

"My life now is real. I've stolen. I've hurt people. I've loved a villain. I can't be your Beast Boy."

"Not if someone gave you those memories." Raven countered.

"They're real..." Garfield was on the verge of crying, ruining whatever poise he had left. Memories of his life with Drury, the Killer Moth, flashed before him. They needed to be real.

"So be it. For now, I will let you think that. But you have dreams...dreams that can be stopped once we find out who is controlling this world."

"How don't you already know who is behind this?"

"Because I want to believe this world is real too." She spoke sadly. "But I can't live with what I know should be right."

They were both alike, both trapped in this fake world. Beast Boy craved for it to be real. He wanted to breathe life into his memories of living Drury Walker, but the hero in him wouldn't let down. As confused as he may be, his heart knew what needed to be done.

"Fine, Raven. I'll help you." He submitted.

The witch stared at him, warmly and with a kindness he had never seen in his dreams. It was unlike her usual apathetic self.

"First, tell me about this villain you love." She strolled closer to him. It wasn't sappy, but still shockingly kind. She was trying to ease him into a conversation. It worked; he needed someone to yell at, someone to cry to. Raven could be trusted.

Garfield Logan might just learn to accept the dreams and his life as Beast Boy despite the loss it would entail. His life with Killer Moth was almost tearing away. That life might be fake, but the feelings it caused were palpably real.

It simply hurt.

* * *

AN: Thanks for the interest in the first chapter. I wanted to challenge myself to write Beast Boy/Killer Moth in all of its weirdness.


	3. The Weight of Her Words

Chapter 3: The Weight of Her Words

* * *

Garfield was home, back in the apartment he shared with his lover. It should have comforted him, returning to the place he had made into a home. Despite all of the photographs and memories he made here, Raven had quickly drowned them all away.

She could never have understood the weight of her words. Those words were weapons, designed to kill and shred his loving relationship. His once happy home had never felt more nauseating.

Raven might have realized that their lives were fake, but she hadn't been altered like Garfield had been. The witch had been kept on the Titans in this world, but Garfield had been given a new life, a criminal yet loving life with Killer Moth. It was too imperfectly perfect to give up. He knew this life was fake, but coming back here, he wanted to believe the lies. This life mattered to him. Drury Walker couldn't be forgotten and written off as a fake.

"Babe, how was your day?" Drury yawned. The older villain was lounging on the couch, presumably having slept before Garfield had arrived.

All it took was a sight from his boyfriend and he was at ease.

"Good. I followed Raven." He didn't know if he should tell the villain, possibly ruining this moment. He couldn't confront Drury with how fake their life was. He would still help Raven, but for now, he would enjoy the embrace of his lover.

The green man walked over to Drury, diving to rest on the villain's chest. They snuggled there for a while, basking in their shared warmth. It was simple yet powerful; he almost melted into the gesture. Drury began playing with his hair.

"Gar, you can stop this mission. I can stop trying to fight them."

"You've been training lately to fight them. You can't hide how sore and sweaty you are. You will fight and I want to help." He looked up into Drury's hazel eyes. They practically gleamed, brimming with kindness for Garfield.

"Let's not fight, just tell me about Raven."

"She...she doesn't know." Garfield paused, making a split-second decision to not tell his boyfriend. Since Raven supposedly didn't 'know,' he could keep watching the Titans.

If he had told the truth, he would have had to tell it fully. The truth threatened to take away Drury from him. The older man's body might have been real, with its warm heart beating under Garfield, but his mind was filled with fake memories. Garfield dreaded losing him when Killer Moth found out the truth.

Drury wouldn't accept him as a member of the Titans. Likewise, if Garfield regained his real memories and became Beast Boy, he would never associate himself with the moth-villain. Their relationship was based on a lie.

"Okay," Drury mumbled, his mind wandering. He believed his boyfriend. There was no suspicion. "Keep watching. I don't want to have to ask you, but please."

"I will."

"Just don't overwork yourself. I would do this, but I'm not stealthy. I can't shift. You might not think you're good at it, but you are. I've watched you improve."

Garfield's emotions were beginning to swoon. He almost couldn't handle this. "It's fine. I...love you, Drury Walker. There's no one else I'd be helping."

"And I feel the same, Gar." Drury was a little too tired to pick up on how erratic and overly sentimental Garfield was acting. Instead of thinking, he slung the green man into a kiss.

Their kiss was less warm and soft and more so magnetic, like the violent churning of waves. Garfield needed to make these moments last as long as he could. Raven and him might reclaim their real memories and fix this world in few days. Garfield would make sure to keep maintaining and enjoying his relationship during the nights.

Raven might have ended his fake world with the truth of her words, but Garfield's emotions went unchanged.

He might never again feel this way, but for now, he loved Killer Moth. That could be enough.

* * *

Raven waited for him, sitting on her bed. The room was still as dark and dreary as ever. This time, there was no magical barrier that forced him to transform back into a human. He gracefully shifted from a fly into his normal self on her bed, sitting a couple of feet away from the witch.

"How much do you remember? Of how are lives are supposed to be? I still don't understand this." It was strange how a day had changed their tone of voice to one another. He was calm and friendly.

"More than you. Whatever this world, this reality, is...my mind wasn't fully erased. My mind has blocks in it to protect itself. It might not have fully worked, but like you, I will regain my memories over time."

"It's not like I have those 'mind blocks.'" Garfield laughed at how ridiculous the word sounded. It should have seemed like a word from a bad science fiction movie, but for the Titans, it was fairly normal. "Why am I remembering?"

"I don't know." Raven paused, her voice less confident. "If I had to guess, it's because your life has changed so much from what it should be. You've gone from one of the Titans to being a criminal. The other Titans don't remember because they're still Titans in this world."

"Okay. That sounds crazy enough to be true." He smiled. "But why would someone make me into a criminal?"

"I don't have complete memories of who we were, Beast Boy. They're hazy at best. I'm slowly remembering names, enough to remember you. But I know something is wrong. This fake world can't make me forget how muddled my mind is."

"Let's think about who could be behind this. Who has the power to change our memories?"

"The Titans haven't fought anyone that powerful, Beast Boy. It could be anyone."

"Maybe it isn't a villain." Garfield's mind clicked with a flash of clarity. The answer should have been obvious.

"Like who?" Raven's eyebrow raised. She might not have fully remembered everything about Beast Boy, but her body instantly reacted at him having an answer to something. Some things were still surprising.

"One of the Titans...or someone who at least interacts with you often. Maybe a certain girlfriend..."

"Kitten?"

There had to be a reason that Garfield never could follow her. Kitten could have created this whole world and fixed their memories; it was an easy answer, but for now it made sense. Until they regained more memories, Kitten was their best lead even if it turned out to not be her.

"I've tried following her, but she always disappeared." He supplied.

"I don't know much about her. I don't even remember her from my memories that are coming back."

"Can you track her though? I couldn't, but you have magic." Garfield spoke a little childlike, beaming at his mention of magic.

"I can try. It will take a while to gather the supplies and meditate. In the meantime, we can try watching her."

"Watching didn't work for me..."

"I said _we_. I have my own techniques, Beast Boy."

With that, their decision was settled. They would watch Kitten until a tracking spell could be performed. Raven held dark magic with her: an untapped potential that Garfield had almost forgotten about.

Raven held more power than just the weight of words.

* * *

That night, Garfield returned to Drury. The older criminal still hadn't attacked the Titans, but he still kept to a strict regimen of working out and breeding a new moth army. As his boyfriend, it made Garfield proud to see, but knowing how temporary their relationship might be, it seemed all the more pointless.

He almost didn't know why he still came back to Drury. Despite those thoughts, every time he visited, Killer Moth stirred romantic emotions within him.

"Let's steal something." He said a little too jittery. He was anxious and didn't care to hide it.

"My my. Isn't someone a little anxious?" Drury laughed at him. Garfield's leg was thumping like a rabbit. "Fine. You choose. Or we could just keep things simple and order take-out."

"Really, I'm offering to finally do my job for once instead of stalking the Titans...and you want take-out?" The green man eyed his lover incredulously.

"You didn't say no." Drury smirked.

"Fine. Let's get supper than just lay back tonight."

For now, Garfield would simply eat supper with his boyfriend. There wouldn't be many more meals together. All his doubts and worries needed to be drained away; at least for tonight, he would be the perfect boyfriend to Drury.

* * *

They brought back Chinese food, sitting down in the living room. Instead of his usual avoidance of meat, Garfield allowed himself to eat chicken. He almost didn't care anymore. His life with Drury might be forgotten; he would live in the moment,

"Do you remember the first time we met?" Garfield spoke, breaking the silence of their meal. He had gorged himself on sweet and sour chicken and broccoli.

Instead of questioning what was wrong with his boyfriend, Drury indulged him. He seemed to pick up on that Garfield wanted to reminisce and not fight. "You tried stealing from me. Can't say your skills have improved much since then." He grinned.

"I had just came to Jump. I didn't know you were Killer Moth. I thought you were simply Drury Walker, biogeneticist."

"I had already heard of a green teen stealing from other villains though. They said he was weak."

"Hey! They didn't stop and catch me. I at least got away." He faked a whine.

"Not from me. It's been years and you haven't found a way out."

"Just watch me walk out the door." Garfield laughed, faking a dramatic response. "Seriously. I didn't know who you were. I just knew you would have hormones or tech for my powers. I could barely hold the form of a fly for an hour."

"Now you can hold that form for an hour and a minute...that's improvement."

"Well aren't you cute." He snickered. Their conversation eased the sadness brimming inside of him. "Do you ever think about how things would have turned out if you hadn't taken me on as your assistant and apprentice? What if I had become one of the good guys...you know, joined those brats?"

Garfield didn't know which of his lives he was asking about. In his fake life now, he wondered what would have happened if he hadn't joined Killer Moth. On the other hand, he was wondering about his true life: how would his boyfriend react when they regained their memories and became enemies? Would Killer Moth accept Beast Boy?

"You'd probably have shacked up with some villain. They wouldn't have let you free. They'd want to keep them to themselves." Drury didn't quite answer his question, but he grasped Garfield into a deeper hug.

"I'm glad I stole from you as weird as that sounds." Garfield's eyes glistened, he fought back the urge to cry.

"Is something wrong?" Drury's voice soothed. "You need to take a break from watching the Titans, babe."

"I will. Let's just enjoy the time we have together tonight."

Drury couldn't have known the truth. He merely thought that Garfield was stressed from stalking the Titans. Instead of talking, Garfield let himself ease into Drury's hold, quickly falling asleep.

Their relationship was something beyond words or truth. Garfield would cling to that belief. He would try turning it into a reality.

* * *

AN: Although this might seem like it's becoming a tragedy, I plan to write a happy ending somewhere down the line. In the meantime, thanks for the reviews.


	4. Wrath

Chapter 4: Wrath

* * *

They must have looked ridiculous, perched on the roof of a building overlooking the park where Control Freak had taken Kitten on a date. No one would have described either as inconspicious: Garfield was green and Raven made a glass of milk look tan by comparison. They could only hope that no one would see them.

"Do you want me to listen to them as a fly?" Garfield spoke, breaking the quietness between the two.

"No, just wait. It's Kitten we're after. It wouldn't do well if we get found out stalking the girlfriend to the leader of the Titans." Raven rolled her eyes, as if that should have been a given.

"He doesn't even know who I am."

"Beast Boy, we still can't trust that. If Kitten is the one who changed your life and erased our memories, don't you think she'll notice a green fly coincidentally following her? It doesn't matter if Control Freak doesn't know."

"Fine." Garfield finally conceded.

"We'll just wait until Control Freak leaves and then we'll follow her."

"Something is going to happen. You'll get hit by a car...or something." Garfield stuttered; he couldn't quite predict what would happen to the witch, but he knew it wasn't good. He almost laughed at how ridiculous his words sounded.

"Or something...let's just leave the watching to someone with magic." The witch didn't sound arrogant, more so teasing him than anything.

"How have you been lately...knowing that this world will be over if we succeed?" He asked, trying to pass the time until Kitten would be done with her boyfriend.

"I've been fine. I've mostly read and worked on a way to get out of this mess, Beast Boy. Nothing too exciting."

"You won't miss this life?"

"No, I'm sorry. Beast Boy, we're not meant to live like this. I know you have a thing going on with Killer Moth...but maybe it just wasn't meant to be. Your memories were replaced and your life was rewritten just to make that relationship possible."

"I still feel though, Rae." His voice came out weakly, nothing like his usual cooler self.

"You wouldn't be helping me now if you didn't want to fix this mess."

"I..." He didn't know how to respond to that. He couldn't deny it.

"I'm right. I'm fine with you enjoying the time you have left with Killer Moth, but as your friend, get used to not being with him. It's for the best."

"Maybe I can change. Maybe he'll change." The words weren't said with confidence: they were a vague declaration of fleeting hope.

"You aren't a villain, Beast Boy." She said matter-of-factly. There was no debate in her mind; she hadn't experienced anything in this fake life worth saving.

"He could change. Maybe he'll stop being a criminal." His words weren't meant to fight her; they were for himself and his own inner turmoil.

"He might have you now, but he's still the same criminal we fought in our real lives."

"What about Malchior?" Garfield regained some of his senses, offering a quick retort to Raven. They might not remember everything about their real lives, but that name recalled powerful memories.

The witch was shocked, almost gasping at the name. Despite her inward reaction, Raven was still outwardly apathetic. Garfield wouldn't have caught it unless he had seen the quick intake of breath at the mention of the dragon. Even with fake memories, he couldn't forget a friend as close as Raven. He knew her fully, from her moods down to the twitches and ticks of her body movements.

"He wasn't going to change. He used me." She could barely respond to him. With her mind in a tailspin, she could only offer simple responses. "We need to pay attention to Kitten..."

"Look down. She's still with her boyfriend. But let's go back to Malchior, Raven." Garfield had gotten too personal with Raven. He had used a low-blow from her past to his advantage and couldn't care less. He wanted to be right about Killer Moth.

"He used me just like Killer Moth is using you."

"I think if there even is using going on, it's consensual." He chided.

"Beast Boy, you're a trophy to him, like a moth pinned to a wall. He collected you for your powers and genetics background." Her mind always saw the worst in people. At times, Garfield had loved her sarcasm and biting criticisms of people, but right now, it had never seemed more hypocritical and truly mean.

"I flirted with him, Raven. I chose to be his boyfriend."

"You can't tell me he's changed you and made you into a villain. Just because you never joined the Titans in this world didn't mean you had to turn to crime."

"You're really going to judge me...about this fake life. Really, Raven?" He tried remaining calm and collected, but his mind too easily slipped into anger. They needed to focus on Kitten.

"Beast Boy, don't be over-dramatic." The witch spoke coldly.

"I'm sorry that I have feelings. Okay...I'm not going to fight this right now. We're not talking about this again." He turned away, refocusing on watching Control Freak and Kitten.

"Beast Boy..." She tried getting his attention but to no avail. He couldn't be bothered with her antics.

Garfield would still help her, but if he wanted a life with Killer Moth, it would be found on his own terms. An answer to how he could resolve both his real life and fake memories existed, but Raven was too hateful to ever be open to that. She only focused on going back to reality: a world where she was above such common teen emotions.

In addition to the love he felt for Killer Moth, Garfield had never felt such disappointment and rage over Raven. He had trusted her in his real life and wouldn't regain that fully when they finally returned.

* * *

"Control Freak is leaving." Garfield called out, finally turning to look at Raven. After their fight, the witch had taken to watching their target and meditating. Meditation allowed for the Titan to not have to deal with her real problems.

"He loves her." She spoke calmly, but Garfield couldn't seem to care.

Despite that, he affected concern in his voice. "Really? Can you sense it...empathically?" He almost didn't know what word to describe Raven's powers.

"Yes. Control Freak probably doesn't know she's the one who changed our lives and memories." For some reason, Raven still defended the redhead. Garfield was suspicious, but his perspective was jaded: he was a criminal on the outside looking in at the Titans in this world.

"Maybe because he knows...or is helping her." He didn't know why Raven trusted Control Freak. Even if he didn't know much about the redhead, some part of the green man suspected him.

"Our leader isn't a villain, Beast Boy." She might avoid fighting him over Killer Moth again, but when the topic was about Control Freak, Raven had never seemed more defensive and annoyed by Garfield.

"If you say so..."

"I know so." With that, any debate was finished. "I'll follow her. Tag along if you're able to stop picking fights and distracting me from our mission."

The witch flew up and over buildings, trailing Kitten beneath them. Control Freak's girlfriend had left the park, walking over to the sidewalk by their building. Garfield shifted into a pigeon, slowly following the erratic witch and Kitten. He wasn't in a rush; he already knew that Raven would fail in following their target.

He just didn't know she would fail so spectacularly.

* * *

Raven had only followed less than ten blocks before Kitten started walking through a residential neighborhood in Jump. It was a more well-to-do area of the city; certainly not the place of common criminals like Killer Moth. Kitten obviously had some money.

Despite her pursuit of the blonde, suddenly an invisible pull tugged at her body, momentarily blocking her powers as she flew over another building. The pull stopped her flight, sending her body into a dive towards the ground. Unluckily for the witch, Kitten glanced at her, watching the witch fall to her death.

Instead of showing concern and even shock, the blonde laughed. Kitten was giggling about her falling with a cruel glint in her eyes. Raven might not have found out where Kitten lived, but she knew without a doubt that the blonde was somehow behind this whole thing.

* * *

Garfield had slowly followed Raven. He was a couple buildings behind her when she plummeted. There was no time to think. Even though he had fought the witch, his body's instincts caused him to shift into a Pterodactyl, rushing to catch and sweep his friend away.

There was no anger on his mind; only concern existed for his friend.

As he flew closer, he could make out the terrified expression on the witch's face. She was no longer cold and unfeeling. Raven had never looked more scared, more afraid for her own life. There was no time for her to feel above expressing emotion. She truly thought she was going to die.

Raven was rocketing closer to the ground just as Garfield swooped down to meet her. As he hit the ground, he didn't even know if he had successfully saved the witch.

She might have hurt him, berating his feelings for Killer Moth, but Garfield couldn't deny she was his friend. No one except the other would ever understand what they had gone through in trying to fix this mess. In another life, if Garfield hadn't found Drury Walker, the Killer Moth of Jump, he might have fallen for the witch.

Raven was just too close, too much a a friend, to let die.

* * *

"Raven..." A voice called out, giddy to the point of being annoying.

The witch didn't know where she was, but the voice was unrecognizable. Kitten was taunting her. Only the blonde could have that grating, whiney voice.

"We know what you did." Raven spat, not waiting for the blonde to finish.

"I know, Raven." Kitten grinned. "My boyfriend gave me a nice new toy in the park today."

The witch studied her surroundings, trying to think of a way out of it. She was in a living room, luxuriously decorated in fabrics, fine linens, and frilly pinks. It could only be Kitten's home. Raven tried drawing her magic, but like before, there was a block on her powers.

"I could have let you die, but my boyfriend wouldn't have liked that."

Raven's mind finally caught the mention of Control Freak. She couldn't doubt his involvement. Control Freak was behind this. She had chalked up Garfield's suspicions as the paranoia of a common criminal, but they were right.

"Now, Raven, if we're going to kiss-and-tell about his whole plan, I'm going to give you back your memories."

Kitten pulled a strange looking remote from her pocket, pointing it at Raven's head as if it were a gun.

"You've caught me, but you can't stop Beast Boy." Raven didn't truly know where the green man was, but she hoped Kitten hadn't done anything to him. He was her only hope. Cyborg, Robin, and Starfire wouldn't be coming.

"Raven, I'll deal with him later. Control Freak wants to punish you for trying to stop us."

Kitten pressed a button on the remote. An invisible pull shot from the remote at Raven's head, blending her mind as if it were a stream of pixels.

Raven now knew everything...and had never been more horrified.

* * *

AN: Originally I wasn't going to give Kitten that big of a role, so is everyone okay with that?


	5. An Explanation

Chapter 5: An Explanation

* * *

"You see, Raven, I'm not just a dumb, whiney little girl." Kitten's giggle cracked out, too nauseating to ever be considered charming.

"How did you and Control Freak do all of this?" Her memories had fully returned to her, but this world still didn't make sense.

"This remote can do more than press pause, Raven. It didn't take too much work to realize what it could fully do."

Raven glared at the teen, her fear transforming into an angry defiance. She would not die to this hack of a villain. "It only works in the TV-world. I don't see any science fiction monsters and kid's cartoons frolicking around here!"

"That's where you still don't understand. This remote only works in the TV-world, which means..."

"We're not in the real-world..." Raven finished for her. It had taken her too long to come to that realization. "But how can Jump exist in the TV world? How could you change our memories and lives?"

"For once, Raven, you need to come up with your own answers."

Raven tried lunging, but her body was still paralyzed by the remote's power. She could barely even twitch at Kitten. All she could do was glare harder. It was ridiculous to watch.

"You should see yourself, Raven. You're so much fun to play with. Now think, how can Jump exist in this TV-world?"

"I don't know!" She was angry and practically fuming, but she still didn't know the answer.

"Fine...god, you're no fun. You could at least go all doom-and-gloom and hex me. Oh wait, you can't. You can't really do anything now let alone come up with a simple answer." Kitten grinned, practically beaming at the power she held over the witch. Raven had never been more vulnerable.

"I still don't know. Stop these games and just tell me." The witch spat.

"Fine. Control Freak and I should really be thanking you Titans. Jump only exists in TV-land because of all the fights you've been in here that make the news. Think about it...if you never would have played hero, we'd wouldn't be here right now."

"You still shouldn't have this much power. The remote shouldn't be sending you into God-mode."

"Yes it can. It can do anything in this world. As long as I have this, you can't fight back. You can't even breathe if I wanted to stop it..."

"You wouldn't do that. You and Control Freak might control this world, but people will notice if I disappear."

Kitten rolled her eyes at Raven. "This remote allowed Control Freak to rewrite this show and make himself a Titan. It also made your green slime ball Beast Boy into a villain. It can easily make people forget about you."

"How can a cruddy remote change my memories?" She was dumbfounded. Kitten confidently understood the laws of this TV-world and yet Raven still couldn't comprehend. It infuriated her.

"You shouldn't even remember reality. I guess we didn't consider your crazy goth powers protecting some of your memories."

Kitten still looked at her menacingly, but with a calm collectedness. This wasn't the same bratty girl she had fought in the real word. This wasn't a girl; Kitten was a woman, albeit a colder and crueller one. She was smarter than the last time they had met. Raven couldn't fathom just what Kitten could do; she was no longer the daughter of the b-rate villain Killer Moth...

Suddenly, Raven remembered Kitten's connection to Killer Moth. It should have been the first thing she noticed when Kitten had given Raven back her memories.

"Beast Boy is also remembering. I bet you didn't count on him hooking up with your father." Raven stopped over-thinking the situation to once again verbally challenge her captor.

"My father would never touch the pig." Kitten's eyes twitched; she tried calming her anger and affecting some poise.

"You might have changed Beast Boy in this world, but that didn't stop him from finding his way back to Jump...into the arms of your father." Surprisingly, Kitten must not have known that Beast Boy was currently dating Killer Moth.

"Don't test me. My father-"

Before Kitten could continue, Raven jetted, "You haven't even talked with your father in this world. You wouldn't know. I bet you even made him forget you in this world..." The witch laughed, nullifying some of the anger she held for Kitten. This situation was just too ridiculous, even for her.

"Then tell me...how did that little freak start dating my daddy?" Kitten was still fuming, but she was honestly curious. Even she couldn't have hid that.

Before either could answer, Beast Boy came charging through the wall of the living room in the form of a T-Rex, waking Kitten against the wall into unconsciousness. For a few seconds, his dinosaur body just lay there, sprawled in the collapsed living room, before he finally shifted back into a human.

"I can answer that for myself." Garfield wiped the mix of sweat and debris clinging to his head. With Kitten knocked out against the wall and away from her remote, the invisible bond on Raven was released.

Raven's magic instantly surged through her body, happily crackling in her veins. She might have briefly feared Kitten, but with her friend here to help her, there was no reason to be afraid. The Titans were back, albeit just the two of them. They would win.

"You took long enough." Raven teased, offering a small smile for her friend.

"I had to track you. Sniff you out." Garfield spoke, not pausing to think how awkward that sounded. It was just to typically Beast Boy, making Raven smile wider.

"Kitten and Control Freak are behind all of this. She gave me back my memories."

"Why?"

"She wanted me to know everything and not be able to help."

"Kitten is just such a loser villain. She makes Dr. Light look competent." Garfield laughed. "So how are they doing all of this?"

Raven paced a few strides, walking over to pick up the remote that had been knocked out of Kitten's hand. "This. Control Freak's remote can control everything...in this TV-world. This world is like a TV show created from images of us fighting villains on the news."

"I'm going to just pretend that's normal. But what about our memories?"

"The remote did that too. They rewrote our lives. Control Freak joined the Titans and replaced you. He made you into a criminal. I don't think they counted on you finding your way back here and dating Killer Moth." Raven said calmly, not trying to reopen the wounds of their fight about Beast Boy's boyfriend.

"I don't know what to say...our lives here are just some sick, fake show for a nerdy redhead to live his dreams of being a Titan."

"Beast Boy, I'm sorry about earlier. Killer Moth loves you...for you. Not because you're a Titan in this world. Maybe it will mean something back in reality."

"Thanks Raven, but I can admit now how stupid that sounds."

Raven didn't know what to say. She was never the affectionate type. The witch could comfort Beast Boy with her words, but she wasn't about to hug him. It was too emotional, even for her. Instead, she changed the conversation. It was awkward and jarring, but she couldn't handle getting overly sentimental right now. She just wanted to return to reality.

"Beast Boy, we still need to get Control Freak and figure out how to get back home."

"Okay." Garfield whispered, he returned to his senses. Raven was safe from having to hug him. "But what do we do with Kitten? It's not like I can turn into a lion and eat her..."

"I might not know how to get us back home, but I know how to press pause." Raven pushed the remote, pointing at Kitten. The girl wouldn't be moving until she allowed it.

* * *

"Friend Raven...and...?" Starfire paused from trying to hug the witch returning to the Tower. The alien, Beast Boy, and Raven were currently in the living room.

"Starfire...can you just stay there for a bit?" Raven asked, not knowing what to say. There was no way to avoid being awkward.

"Raven?" The alien was too bewildered to move.

"Okay, Raven, do you know how Kitten used that doohickey and gave your memories back?"

"Kind of...?" There was no confidence in her voice. It came out like a nervous question and not Raven's usual apathetic tone.

"Just press random buttons or something. It's not like you can erase her."

"I guess so..." Garfield should have just stayed silent. Now, the threat of erasing Starfire from existence seemed ever more real.

"Just do it already!"

"Raven, what's going on?" Starfire finally interrupted their exchange.

"You'll thank me when this is done. I hope this works." Raven pressed one of the many strange-looking buttons on the remote, hoping that it was the one she had noticed Kitten using on her.

If it worked, Starfire would be a guinea pig for her to fix Beast Boy and the other Titans. Even to Raven, that sounded horrible. She just couldn't convince herself of it. Raven could only hope.

Raven had been too distracted by her thoughts to notice the effect of the remote on the alien. Starfire had almost been knocked out by the invisible shoot of the remote.

"Raven...Beast Boy..." The alien's voice whispered, her senses adjusting to her surroundings. "Friends..."

* * *

"Beast Boy is in the Tower." Cyborg's voice boomed out mechanically. Nothing of his former, joking personality could be sensed. He was simply a robot.

"Good. We'll just have to get the others and fight them." Control Freak laughed.

Of all the Titans to replace in this TV-world, he could only have chosen Beast Boy. He still held a grudge over the snot-colored human defeating his space samurai form in his earlier, sloppier attempt at taking the Titans into TV.

The redhead wasn't afraid to face the green hero. Beast Boy might actually be a challenge to him. Sure, becoming a Titan and fighting their villains was fun, but they weren't a challenge to him. He might not have the remote now, but Cyborg was still under his control.

The robot had been the most susceptible to the remote's powers. One click and Cyborg had the independence of a Toaster. Now, Control Freak didn't even need the remote to control him. He only needed to command the robot to fight.

"Raven is with him." The robot's voice droned.

"What!?" Control Freak yelled.

Raven wasn't supposed to be back in the Tower. Kitten should have dispatched her by now. If Raven was here, that meant Kitten had failed. The witch would have the remote.

No matter, it's not like Raven knew how to use it. Control Freak could still command Cyborg to fight for him. Raven and Beast Boy might be more powerful than their robotic friend, but they didn't have the nerve to fight him. The redhead would fully use that to his advantage. He didn't even need to kill Beast Boy and Raven; Cyborg and him only needed to regain the remote.

Control Freak was nervous, but had never been more excited for a fight. It was like the climax of a good science fiction novel. He was no longer a reader but an active participant in this world.

He wasn't just a nerd, but he felt deluded enough to call himself a real hero. He just needed to prove himself by eliminating his enemies.

* * *

AN: I hope this puts more clarity on what Control Freak is doing. If not, just tell me. Anyways, Beast Boy's line, "It's not like I can turn into a lion and eat her," is a reference to my other fanfic "We Need a War."


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